Gillis | for children and families since 1870

Educational Resources

Gillis is committed to the children and families we serve, and to all those who serve them. We strive to keep you informed on children's issues. These resources are provided to help you or someone you know help at-risk children and their families become contributing members of the community through education, counseling and social services. Our vision is that all children will live in an emotionally stable, safe and nurturing environment. We hope this is your vision also.

Poor Parenting
The idea of abusing a child causes most of us to recoil, yet it happens daily. Each April, National Child Abuse Prevention Month brings the subject front and center, reminding us there are many forms of abuse – neglect, physical abuse, sexual abuse and emotional abuse. The most common perpetrators are parents. Read More

As a clinical social worker and educator at Gillis Center, I’m often asked to name the greatest problem I see day-to-day. My response is poor or ineffective parenting In fact, I would suggest there is an epidemic of poor parenting in this country. It includes the educated and uneducated, wealthy and poor, all races and faiths. It can be found throughout our metropolitan area from Bonner Springs to Blue Springs, from Liberty to Olathe. To address this aspect of abuse, Gillis includes parenting programs as part of our comprehensive approach to helping at-risk children.

Poor parenting often includes parents who do not or can not set boundaries for their children. Parents who strive to be their child’s best friend are ineffective parents. Parents who allow the mall, theaters, television, the internet or video games to baby sit their children are poor parents. Some readers might argue that it is normal for pre-teens and teenagers to meet their friends for a movie.. While I cannot disagree, I would offer this counter argument. Nothing good can come from dozens of unsupervised 13-17 year olds spending several hours together. Have you ever been to a local theater on a Friday night? The parade of parents dropping off their children begins just after dinner. They don’t return until nearly midnight.

Are poor or ineffective parents abusive? Yes and No. Having attending hundreds of child abuse staffings and court hearings, I can say that most abusive parents are poor/ineffective parents. However, through treatment, education, and support many poor parents can become outstanding parents. Good parenting is exhausting, and is a very time consuming, 24 hour a day job. It includes setting and consistently enforcing rules, boundaries, and expectations. The 2008 “Promoting Healthy Families in Your Community” packet supports the following ideas.

Nurturing and attachment – developing “close bonds” between parents and children will help parents to better understand their child.
Knowledge of parenting and of child development – can help parents better “anticipate” their child’s needs while developing appropriate strategies for effective parenting.
Parental resilience – recognizing the signs and symptoms of child/family stressors, can help the parent’s “capacity to cope.”
Social connections – expanding social networks helps parents build a “strong base” of parenting support.
Concrete supports – no parent can be the expert on everything, and “everyone sometimes needs help at some point.”

For more information, go to www.childwelfare.gov,
www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/preventionmonth/ and www.childwelfare.gov/preventing/promoting/protectfactors

Child Abuse
Child abuse is pervasive in all communities throughout the United States and in the 40 years since child neglect and abuse become a recognized problem there has been no sustained success in reducing the incidence of child maltreatment. Read More

The strategy for the last 30 years has been to protect children by removing them from their abusers, with supporting public campaigns focused on creating public awareness of the incidence of child abuse. Prevention strategies have focused on identifying parents at risk for maltreating their children and providing home visits or parent education. These efforts have been poorly funded and reach a very small number of families.

Strengthening Families strategies build evidence-based protective factors for children and their families. It focuses on building protection for children within their homes and communities and seeks to overcome or diminish specific causes of child neglects and abuse (parental isolation, lack of knowledge bout child development, and mental, physical or financial crisis in the family) rather than removing the children from their homes.

Factor 1
Parental Resilience

Parental psychology plays an important role in both the causes and prevention of child abuse and neglect. Parents who are emotionally resilient are able to:
a) maintain a positive attitude;
b) creatively solve problems and;
c) effectively rise to challenges in their lives.
They are less likely to abuse or neglect their children.

Parents who have experienced violence or abuse and neglect themselves or who have other risk factors for becoming abusers need caring relationships to help them develop and maintain positive relationships with their children.

Parents who know and trust others are more likely to reveal problems such as domestic violence or feelings of frustration and ask for assistance.

Factor 2
Social Connections

Helping parents build constructive friendships and other positive connections can reduce their isolation, which is a consistent risk factor in child abuse and neglect. Isolation is a particular problem for families in crisis or who need intensive help, such as victims of domestic violence. Building parents’ network of family, friends, neighbors, churches – is important in helping them to identify and solve problems.

Social connections also enable parents to develop and reinforce community norms about behavior that affects everyone. Norms against violence help reduce child abuse and neglect.

Friendships lead to mutual assistance in gaining resources all families need from time to time: transportation, respite child care and other tangible assistance as well as emotional support.

Factor 3
Knowledge of Parenting and Child Development

Parents who understand normal child development are less likely to be abusive and more likely to nurture their children’s healthy development. Observing other children helps parents understand their own child in context.

Parents often need timely help from someone they trust in resolving specific problems such as biting or hitting without resorting to harsh discipline techniques. Multiple models of positive parenting, including alternative discipline techniques, males in nurturing roles, and a program norm of non-violence demonstrate alternatives for parents.

Parents of children with developmental or behavior problems or special needs need coaching and support in their parenting roles to reduce their frustration and provide the help their children need.

Factor 4
Concrete Support in Times of Need

Child neglect can be a consequence of family crisis, a parental condition, such as substance abuse, or stresses associated with the lack of resources. Connecting parents to resources such as job training, literacy development, language translation, social services, or access to health care help prevent maltreatment.

Factor 5
Social and Emotional Competence of Children

Helping children develop socially and emotionally has impact on the way parents and children interact. For instance, as children learn to verbalize their emotions rather than act them out, they are more able to tell parents how they feel, what they need, and how parental actions make them feel. Parents can then be more responsive to their children’s needs and are less likely to yell or hit.

Children with challenging behaviors are at greater risk for abuse. Identifying and working with children to keep their development on track helps them keep safe. Children who have experienced or witnessed violence in particular need a safe environment, trained staff and opportunities to develop normally.

As researched and evidenced by the Center for the Study of Social Policy and the Doris Duke Foundation

Stories

Interaction with the volunteer and pet teams is designed to educate the children about dogs and also to meet whatever needs individual children have that day.

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Gillis News

2010 Kansas City Spirit Awards! ... Read More

Our Winter 2010 Newsletter Is Now Available! ... Read More

Gillis is part of Cornerstones of Care, a partnership of agencies providing therapeutic treatment services for children and families.